tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-152585372024-03-23T14:25:54.777-04:00OLD LADY LINCOLN<b>I like to post a joke, to start someones day off with a smile. Also to write about my family, friends, cooking, hobbies and etc.</b>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.comBlogger3718125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-35046298343899421422019-12-29T12:38:00.000-05:002019-12-29T12:38:03.043-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b></center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiExpehHxsbBcscD32sNyZre0YUDuqS1wjT_rKhNmhHEdRPZ_CEmxcDo136zM5W5UL7ICdx9v128ls0y3xeLD5zIIEM3awneBvlMiokrW1Oi1sULv0CMCJHjyiNFWBhc6lKqTE-Kg/s1600/lettering-happy-new-year-2020-white-background_23-2148317176.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiExpehHxsbBcscD32sNyZre0YUDuqS1wjT_rKhNmhHEdRPZ_CEmxcDo136zM5W5UL7ICdx9v128ls0y3xeLD5zIIEM3awneBvlMiokrW1Oi1sULv0CMCJHjyiNFWBhc6lKqTE-Kg/s320/lettering-happy-new-year-2020-white-background_23-2148317176.jpg" width="320" height="320" data-original-width="626" data-original-height="626" /></a></div></b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-4320057084731019732019-10-12T21:12:00.001-04:002019-10-12T21:12:35.925-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="4"><b> Have a Great Week-end. </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9zcwwQtJjKaiYT7sjlpo1T9kkZZBhCKHGu0kR3uaFVHLMKd_Bc_aUrn9v4s90I31sXn1g_onY2daEDJz2Pz6UOMCoxte0FA2m15k3A3Kz8TpCA8dy3sl8TFECOgrJcRghnA6XQ/s1600/261164-Just-Looking-In-To-Say-Have-A-Great-Weekend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9zcwwQtJjKaiYT7sjlpo1T9kkZZBhCKHGu0kR3uaFVHLMKd_Bc_aUrn9v4s90I31sXn1g_onY2daEDJz2Pz6UOMCoxte0FA2m15k3A3Kz8TpCA8dy3sl8TFECOgrJcRghnA6XQ/s320/261164-Just-Looking-In-To-Say-Have-A-Great-Weekend.jpg" width="320" height="319" data-original-width="520" data-original-height="518" /></a></div></b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-21511038003083323772019-10-05T11:24:00.000-04:002019-10-05T11:24:02.511-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Gas Prices then </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> </b></font><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8e60vejfnGpjVffNF5pQdNuC2g8UprCkI__G-ksWbnd8iI0RHIj2X9SH15ewK_vFwWhQUXAJfVzWsWgSjlkAJJgPEDuwt8BKgWPEbh7WGhYOurT-kZpzehVmoBtAI4a_ZOAeWBg/s1600/Gas+prices.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8e60vejfnGpjVffNF5pQdNuC2g8UprCkI__G-ksWbnd8iI0RHIj2X9SH15ewK_vFwWhQUXAJfVzWsWgSjlkAJJgPEDuwt8BKgWPEbh7WGhYOurT-kZpzehVmoBtAI4a_ZOAeWBg/s400/Gas+prices.jpg" width="319" height="400" data-original-width="637" data-original-height="800" /></a></div>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-78596912743015375872019-10-05T11:10:00.000-04:002019-10-05T11:10:32.537-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Car Prices at one time. </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGbLPaJbGICZ43iTT0s5fh6m5L-wNWZcKHLMlsK2gCRNu6XBIbgdWjhDqJx1T7qpp2JVD63BDwX1ON9ZO6VhjEvoYpBfQRhBkLA6_CJhyphenhyphenMttdx_a9EuaKxJor9emDue4WBbYvow/s1600/cars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzGbLPaJbGICZ43iTT0s5fh6m5L-wNWZcKHLMlsK2gCRNu6XBIbgdWjhDqJx1T7qpp2JVD63BDwX1ON9ZO6VhjEvoYpBfQRhBkLA6_CJhyphenhyphenMttdx_a9EuaKxJor9emDue4WBbYvow/s400/cars.jpg" width="296" height="400" data-original-width="592" data-original-height="800" /></a></div></b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-7499534528618515802019-07-09T21:29:00.000-04:002019-07-09T21:29:58.582-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Very Unimportant Facts, Part 2 </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b><br />
Good Clean Funny Lines <br />
<br />
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.<br />
<br />
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.<br />
<br />
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.<br />
<br />
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.<br />
<br />
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.<br />
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A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.<br />
<br />
A snail can sleep for three years.<br />
<br />
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.<br />
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Received from Irene A. Mystery.<br />
First I have been on my blog in a while, hope you like the unimportant facts.<br />
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</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-55401388646024530622019-06-09T10:45:00.001-04:002019-06-09T10:56:09.221-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="4"><b> NEW HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="2" color="Brown"><b> <br />
WELL WORTH THE READ!!!!<br />
Listen to the young people, F-this, F-that, and it seems that no-one will step up and correct them, even with spouse and kids in tow!<br />
FINALLY - - Someone in the teaching profession had the courage to set the standards so badly needed NOW.<br />
We watched high school principal Dennis Prager of Colorado , along with Tom Brokaw on TV awhile ago....what a dynamic, down to earth speaker. Even though Brokaw was also a guest speaker he did little but nod and agree with Prager. This is the guy that should be running for President in 2020.<br />
A Speech Every American Middle School, High School and Collegiate Educator or Principal Should Give<br />
By Dennis Prager.<br />
To the students and faculty of our high school:<br />
I am your new principal, and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people.<br />
I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country.<br />
First, this school will no longer honor race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower or on slave ships. The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity. And the only national identity this school will care about is American.<br />
This is an American public school, and American public schools were created to make better Americans. If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity, race and non-American nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of America , one of its three central values -- E pluribus unum, "from many, one." And this school will be guided by America 's values. This includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.<br />
Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties. Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry and more. If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnic, racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.<br />
Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language. My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible. The English language has united America 's citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English language skills, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the American job market. We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Americans only speak English -- but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English, this is not your school.<br />
Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavor, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status. This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly. Many people in our society dress more formally for Hollywood events than for church or school. These people have their priorities backward. Therefore, there will be a dress code at this school.<br />
Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the f -word, you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission, plus epithets such as "Nigger," even when used by one black student to address another black, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.<br />
Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it. One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.<br />
Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment. No more semesters will be devoted to condom wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue... There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates this school and does not consider him or herself inordinately fortunate -- to be alive and to be an American.<br />
Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.<br />
Pass this along if you agree. If not delete and later regret it ! <br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-67494861590745090892019-04-19T16:13:00.000-04:002019-04-19T16:13:19.494-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Kids Easter Friendly Jokes </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?<br />
He was having a bad hare day!<br />
<br />
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke?<br />
It might crack up!<br />
<br />
What kind of beans never grow in a garden?<br />
Jelly beans!<br />
<br />
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?<br />
Lots of eggs-ercise!<br />
<br />
Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be twelve inches long?<br />
Because then it would be a foot.<br />
<br />
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?<br />
14 carrot gold.<br />
<br />
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?<br />
Bugs Bunny.<br />
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Why did the Easter egg hide?<br />
He was a little chicken.<br />
<br />
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?<br />
A bunion.<br />
<br />
Where do Easter bunnies dance?<br />
At the basket ball.<br />
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What do you call ten rabbits marching backward?<br />
A receding hareline.<br />
<br />
How do you catch the Easter Bunny?<br />
Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!<br />
<br />
What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?<br />
Hip Hop.<br />
<br />
What day does an Easter egg hate the most?<br />
Fry-day.<br />
<br />
What do you call an egg from outer space?<br />
An Egg-stra terrestial!<br />
<br />
Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?<br />
Because he kept quacking all the eggs!<br />
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Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?<br />
To the re-tail store!<br />
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What do you call a sleeping egg?<br />
Egg-zosted!<br />
<br />
18.Why are people always tired in April?<br />
Because they’ve just finished a March!<br />
<br />
How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?<br />
When it has hares in it!<br />
<br />
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes?<br />
Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?<br />
<br />
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has buried his treasure?<br />
Eggs mark the spot!<br />
<br />
How does Easter end?<br />
With the letter “R”<br />
<br />
What did the chicken say when it saw the scrambled Easter eggs?<br />
“Crazy mixed-up kids!” </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-5279814550200717712019-04-17T14:38:00.001-04:002019-04-17T14:38:20.060-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North DAKOTA. He shot a bird, but it fell into farmer's field on the other side of a fence. <br />
<br />
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.<br />
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The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."<br />
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The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."<br />
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The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New York and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." <br />
<br />
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North DAKOTA. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"<br />
<br />
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" <br />
<br />
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."<br />
<br />
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. <br />
<br />
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!<br />
<br />
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.<br />
<br />
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."<br />
<br />
(I love this part)<br />
<br />
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."<br />
<br />
Don’t you just love old people!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-14561735570744278722019-03-09T15:11:00.000-05:002019-03-09T15:11:35.316-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Irish mating call</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!<br />
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.<br />
<br />
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied<br />
'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening..<br />
If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us. Just then they came upon another cave.<br />
<br />
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer.<br />
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.<br />
<br />
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'<br />
<br />
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'<br />
Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'<br />
<br />
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.<br />
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read................You'll like this<br />
<br />
<br />
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!! </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-78300954315181053132019-03-05T16:53:00.000-05:002019-03-05T16:53:29.262-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> GOD'S PLAN FOR AGING...</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b><br />
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.<br />
<br />
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom, He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.<br />
<br />
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.<br />
<br />
So - if you find as you age that you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath<br />
<br />
Important Facts To Remember:<br />
<br />
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.<br />
<br />
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.<br />
<br />
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.<br />
<br />
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.<br />
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#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years - unless you give them your email address.<br />
<br />
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.<br />
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#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.<br />
<br />
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.<br />
<br />
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom for the 2nd time this hour<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-18541954902201955092019-02-02T17:42:00.000-05:002019-02-02T17:42:41.771-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="6"><b> <br />
AND THEN IT IS WINTER </center><br />
</font></b><font face="Times" size="5" color="Brown"><b> This article is so befitting for all of us... take time to ponder... the last statement cannot be refuted:- You know time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems like yesterday that I was young, just married, and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all those years went. <br />
I know that I lived them all. <br />
<br />
I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is... the winter of my life, and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those "older people" were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. <br />
<br />
But, here it is..my friends are retired and getting grey... they move slower and I see an older person in myself now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.<br />
<br />
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!<br />
<br />
And so... now I enter this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last... this I know, that when it's over on this earth... it's over. <br />
<br />
A new adventure will begin!<br />
Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done... things I should have done, but indeed, there are also many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.<br />
<br />
So, if you're not in your winter yet... let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can TODAY, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! <br />
<br />
You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life... so, LIVE FOR TODAY and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember.. and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!! <br />
<br />
"Life" is a GIFT to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one. <br />
<br />
Remember: "It is Health that is real Wealth and not pieces of gold and silver." <br />
<br />
~Your kids are becoming you.....but your grandchildren are perfect! </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-2117601876152416832019-02-01T19:58:00.002-05:002019-02-01T19:58:41.086-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Wise Ole Snoppy</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> </b></font><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYTwbkLgw6LOhUk3GgscSX21z4T_Q-OZw4NHMD3wGniv0DI9EEqYNp0zrBQWp4x3uzEnLbhkXmnFR5dUk-n9juGQmtkF3KjsxSUFhuPXtylkuBeumtUoeBRI3m7RPnAwyJ84ORA/s1600/snoopy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYTwbkLgw6LOhUk3GgscSX21z4T_Q-OZw4NHMD3wGniv0DI9EEqYNp0zrBQWp4x3uzEnLbhkXmnFR5dUk-n9juGQmtkF3KjsxSUFhuPXtylkuBeumtUoeBRI3m7RPnAwyJ84ORA/s320/snoopy1.jpg" width="320" height="243" data-original-width="550" data-original-height="418" /></a></div>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-46427373735308920082019-01-24T12:54:00.000-05:002019-01-24T13:00:56.679-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Need a chuckle??</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
LOVE TEXTS<br />
<br />
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.<br />
<br />
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"<br />
<br />
All the women raised their hands.<br />
<br />
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"<br />
<br />
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.<br />
<br />
All the women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart."<br />
<br />
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.<br />
<br />
Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?<br />
<br />
1. Who the hell is this?<br />
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?<br />
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?<br />
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?<br />
5. I don't understand what you mean.<br />
6. What the hell did you do now?<br />
7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.<br />
8. Am I dreaming?<br />
9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.<br />
10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.<br />
11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-21967742822321095712018-12-23T13:04:00.001-05:002018-12-23T13:04:33.877-05:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Merry Christmas </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b>I received this the other day, thought you might enjoy the thoughts<br />
<br />
<b>Christmas Gift Suggestion<br />
</b><br />
To your enemy Forgiveness<br />
To your opponent Tolerance<br />
To your friend Your heart<br />
To your customer Service<br />
To all Charity<br />
To a child A good example<br />
To yourself Respect </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-50986926646791718922018-09-05T15:38:00.000-04:002018-09-05T15:44:51.074-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Philosophers from the past century </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Betsy Salkind<br />
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.<br />
<br />
Jean Kerr<br />
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.<br />
<br />
Prince Philip<br />
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.<br />
<br />
Harrison Ford<br />
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.<br />
<br />
Spike Milligan<br />
The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree.<br />
<br />
Jean Rostand<br />
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.<br />
<br />
Arnold Schwarzenegger<br />
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.<br />
<br />
WH Auden<br />
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.<br />
<br />
Jonathan Katz<br />
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.<br />
<br />
Johnny Carson<br />
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.<br />
<br />
Steve Martin<br />
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.<br />
<br />
Jimmy Durante<br />
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.<br />
<br />
George Roberts<br />
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.<br />
<br />
Jonathan Winters<br />
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.<br />
<br />
Robert Benchley<br />
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.<br />
<br />
John Glenn<br />
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind -<br />
every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.<br />
<br />
David Letterman<br />
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.<br />
<br />
Howard Hughes<br />
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I'm a billionaire.<br />
<br />
Old Italian proverb<br />
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-15532752675128180932018-08-04T12:07:00.000-04:002018-08-04T12:07:23.966-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Lunch with girlfriends </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Recently I ate at a restaurant where a table of girlfriends of a certain age were having a wonderful time, and came home and wrote this. You may recognize somebody, maybe yourself ...<br />
<br />
Lunch with girlfriends<br />
By Kathy O’Malley<br />
<br />
Elaine’s vertigo has never been worse<br />
Kay can’t recall where she left her purse<br />
Rhonda’s about to replace her knees<br />
Linda’s breathing is tinged with a wheeze<br />
<br />
Donna's left boob has a troublesome lump<br />
Diane’s on her third trip to take a dump<br />
Lorraine’s husband can’t remember a thing<br />
Nine years a widow, Marge still wears her ring<br />
<br />
Marlene is dealing with another UTI<br />
Sally’s giving a hearing aid another try<br />
Marie has decided she can’t drive at night<br />
Sharon still wears clothes two sizes too tight<br />
<br />
They’ve been through divorces and babies and wakes<br />
They do for each other whatever it takes<br />
They’ve already buried Marcia and Kate<br />
And truthfully, Lizzie’s not looking so great<br />
<br />
So whenever they can, they get out to eat<br />
Open bottles of wine and forget their sore feet<br />
There’s laughing and crying and letting down guards<br />
And when the bill comes, there’s ten credit cards<br />
<br />
So here’s to the waiters who keep orders straight<br />
And to the places that let lunches run three hours late<br />
And here’s to the girlfriends, those near and those far<br />
Here's to the girlfriends, you know who you are<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-43289158479854296142018-07-25T15:26:00.002-04:002018-07-25T15:26:40.579-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Kids in Church</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ <br />
<br />
After the christening of his baby brother in church, <br />
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. <br />
His father asked him three times what was wrong. <br />
Finally, the boy replied, <br />
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, <br />
and I wanted to stay with you guys.' <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
<br />
One particular four-year-old prayed, <br />
'And forgive us our trash baskets <br />
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.' <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ <br />
<br />
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they <br />
were on the way to church service, <br />
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?' <br />
One bright little girl replied, <br />
'Because people are sleeping.' <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ <br />
<br />
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. <br />
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. <br />
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.. <br />
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, <br />
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' <br />
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, <br />
' Ryan , you be Jesus !' <br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
A father was at the beach with his children <br />
when the four-year-old son ran up to him, <br />
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore <br />
where a seagull lay dead in the sand. <br />
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked. <br />
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied. <br />
The boy thought a moment and then said, <br />
'Did God throw him back down?' <br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ <br />
<br />
A wife invited some people to dinner. <br />
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, <br />
'Would you like to say the blessing?' <br />
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied. <br />
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered. <br />
The daughter bowed her head and said, <br />
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?' <br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ <br />
<br />
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people ----- who cares! <br />
Peace, love and happiness<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-91251043592393720472018-07-21T14:48:00.001-04:002018-07-21T18:48:14.646-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Jewish Comedians </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days: Shecky Greene, Red Buttons,Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle, Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman, Buddy Hackett, Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason, Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce,<br />
George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Carl Reiner, Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder, George Jessel, Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield,Don Rickles, Jack Benny, Mansel Rubenstein And so many others.<br />
<br />
There was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples:<br />
<br />
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.<br />
<br />
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!<br />
<br />
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"<br />
<br />
Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.<br />
<br />
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.<br />
<br />
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.<br />
<br />
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .<br />
<br />
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.<br />
Then the mud fell off.<br />
<br />
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him Another six months.<br />
<br />
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"<br />
<br />
Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"<br />
<br />
Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"<br />
<br />
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."<br />
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."<br />
<br />
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.<br />
<br />
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.<br />
<br />
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.<br />
<br />
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?<br />
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.<br />
<br />
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?<br />
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!<br />
<br />
A man called his mother in Florida , "Mom, how are you?"<br />
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."<br />
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"<br />
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."<br />
The son said, "That's terrible.<br />
Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"<br />
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."<br />
<br />
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.<br />
She asks, "What part is it?"<br />
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."<br />
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."<br />
<br />
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?<br />
A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."<br />
<br />
Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat.<br />
<br />
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."<br />
"Force yourself," she replied.<br />
<br />
Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?<br />
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.<br />
<br />
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?<br />
A: Because Jewish women don’t like anything that isn't 20% off.<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-23343957222387902582018-06-26T05:30:00.000-04:002018-06-26T05:30:28.257-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> His name was Bubba, he was from Mississippi </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b><br />
... And he needed a loan. So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000; and that he was not a depositor of the bank.<br />
<br />
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.<br />
<br />
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.<br />
<br />
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from Ole Miss University a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater , Texas .<br />
<br />
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000.00.<br />
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"<br />
<br />
His name was BUBBA....<br />
<br />
Keep an eye on those southern boys!<br />
<br />
Just because we talk funny, does not mean we are stupid. </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-55996398340692183942018-06-21T16:49:00.001-04:002018-06-21T16:49:23.323-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Moving to Nevada </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> (received from my cousin)<br />
<br />
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"<br />
<br />
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada .<br />
<br />
I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"<br />
<br />
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.<br />
<br />
When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year." </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-22973961391186554182018-06-19T15:36:00.000-04:002018-06-19T15:57:51.475-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> An Irish Priest </center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b><br />
An Irish priest was transferred to SW Florida<br />
<br />
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Englewood mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.<br />
<br />
The conversation went like this:<br />
<br />
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"<br />
<br />
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"<br />
<br />
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"<br />
<br />
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......<br />
<br />
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."<br />
<br />
An old one, but still funny. Received from my cousin Randall Martin<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-822580523112571272018-06-14T21:30:00.002-04:002018-06-14T21:30:55.020-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> <br />
THE WAR OF 1812 AT WALMART</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
<br />
Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in<br />
particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired,<br />
trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic<br />
relief.<br />
<br />
Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent<br />
the establishment.<br />
<br />
But, I digress, . . enough of my psychological fixations.<br />
<br />
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early<br />
thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"<br />
<br />
"No," I replied.<br />
<br />
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"<br />
<br />
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ."<br />
<br />
I thought it was a snappy retort.<br />
<br />
"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"<br />
<br />
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity . . "1946", I answered,<br />
as straight-faced as possible.<br />
<br />
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of<br />
1812 if it was in 1946?"<br />
<br />
"It was a Black Op Mission. No one is supposed to know about it."<br />
<br />
This was beginning to become fun!<br />
<br />
"Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"<br />
<br />
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice<br />
said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."<br />
<br />
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously<br />
awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"<br />
<br />
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."<br />
<br />
The moron nodded knowingly.<br />
<br />
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this.<br />
It's still classified 'Top Secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."<br />
<br />
"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look . . "Like, what's gonna’ happen<br />
if I do?"<br />
<br />
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want<br />
anything to happen to them, would we?"<br />
<br />
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady<br />
behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack.<br />
I just grinned at her.<br />
<br />
After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car<br />
window talking to a young woman.<br />
<br />
Upon catching sight of me, he started pointing excitedly in my direction.<br />
<br />
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned<br />
kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.<br />
<br />
And these people VOTE!<br />
<br />
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.<br />
<br />
Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol<br />
hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.<br />
<br />
Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!<br />
<br />
See you guys at Walmart<br />
<br />
<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-3739262084369589242018-06-13T07:23:00.000-04:002018-06-13T07:23:05.043-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> AND THEN IT IS WINTER</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
I am not really ready for winter but it sneaks up on us all so fast, ready or not here it comes.<br />
<br />
AND THEN IT IS WINTER<br />
<br />
You know. . . Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.<br />
<br />
It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life.. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is... The winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?<br />
<br />
I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey - or gone...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change....Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.<br />
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Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! 'Cause if I don't on my own free will...I just fall asleep where I sit!<br />
<br />
And so...now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!<br />
<br />
But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know - that when it's over on this earth...it's NOT over A new adventure will begin!<br />
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Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things - I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.<br />
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So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!<br />
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Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!<br />
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"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.<br />
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LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!<br />
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REMEMBER:..... "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.<br />
<br />
"LIVE HAPPY IN THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR! LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING: TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE SO - ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.<br />
<br />
~Your kids are becoming you......<br />
~Going out is good... Coming home is better!<br />
~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!<br />
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.<br />
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.<br />
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called " pre -sleep".<br />
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.<br />
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?".. "what?" ???<br />
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.<br />
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!<br />
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.<br />
~Everybody whispers.<br />
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.<br />
~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!<br />
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Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!"<br />
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Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!!<br />
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It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.<br />
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<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-31229731665906536432018-06-01T08:53:00.000-04:002018-06-01T08:53:23.817-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Good Clean Laugh Lines</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Carry-On<br />
<br />
Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag.<br />
<br />
The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but the woman argued that her bag was a carry-on because it had wheels and a handle.<br />
<br />
Without blinking the attendant said, "My Ford has wheels and a handle, but that doesn't make it a carry-on."<br />
<br />
Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle. </b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15258537.post-68164067630668367242018-05-26T14:45:00.000-04:002018-05-26T14:45:20.346-04:00<center><font face="Tahoma"color="Brown"size="5"><b> Never Fear</center></font></b><font face="Times" size="4" color="Brown"><b> <br />
Never fear your journey ahead, for as God has watched over you all your life and,<br />
in spite of your fears, has brought you through all the trials and sorrows of your life,<br />
so he will take you through the darkest vale, into the light.<br />
<br />
This is from a book called<br />
The Quiet Mind by White Eagle <br />
A friend e-mailed it to me.<br />
</b></font>Pattyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16106461789118388241noreply@blogger.com0