Sunday, October 15, 2017

A poem to which some of us can relate.

I remember the corned beef of my Childhood,
And the bread that we cut with a knife,
When the Children helped with the housework,
And the men went to work not the wife.

The cheese never needed a fridge,
And the bread was so crusty and hot,
The Children were seldom unhappy,
And the Wife was content with her lot.

I remember the milk from the bottle,
With the yummy cream on the top,
Our dinner came hot from the oven,
And not from a freezer; or shop.

The kids were a lot more contented,
They didn't need money for kicks,
Just a game with their friends in the road,
And sometimes the Saturday flicks.

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where biscuits for pennies were sold
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it, I'm just getting Old?

Bathing was done in a wash tub,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'.

I remember the slap on my backside,
And the taste of soap if I swore
Anorexia and diets weren't heard of
And we hadn't much choice what we wore.

Do you think that bruised our ego?
Or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
And I think life was better enjoyed.
Author, Unknown...

Thursday, October 05, 2017

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Remember ladies to get your Mammograms. Mine is scheduled for Nov. 3rd.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Church Bulletin Bloopers

~ Each year we host a missions conference and produce a magazine describing each of the organizations we support and the ministries available in our own congregation. We have a food program in the church for those in need which we call The Pastor's Pantry. Well, in the magazine, I (church secretary) wrote "THE PANTY FUND - so that no one will have to go without!" Oops. [We got A LOT of this kinda blooper: pantry > panty]

~ A visiting pastor came to our church and before the sermon said, "My wife and I are very happy to be here. Honey, get up so the brothers can see you."

~ We have received word of sudden passing of Rev. Smith this morning during the worship service. Now let's sing "Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow."

~ This Sunday morning following services we will have our monthly feelowship.

~ Sinspiration this Sunday night at church. Ya'll Come!

~ This blooper showed up on the main page of the Internet web site for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada: "In a show of near anonymity, the convention approved full communion with the Anglican Church of Canada."

~ Lift up our Messianic brothers and sisters in Israel who are suffering during our prayer time.

~ Couples Retreat: All couples interested in a fun time, meet John in the Courtyard Kiosk after church.

~ Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth

~ Join us for a skirt presented by the Drama Team.

~ We will have a Super Bowel party this Sunday night. We will also have our regular service

~ Summer Festival: Menu for Wednesday night: 1/2 baked chicken, baked potato, and corn.

~ Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

~ Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.

~ The pastor will light his candle from the altar candles. The ushers will light their candle from the pastor's candle. The ushers will turn and light each worshipper in the first pew.

~ Song Lyrics: What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear.

~ Church sign: "Jesus Saves!" Safeway sign across the street: "Safeway saves you more!"

Monday, September 11, 2017

Never Forget

Monday, September 04, 2017

Have a great day

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Eclipse Funnies

What's the most famous painting of an eclipse?
The Moona Lisa.

What did the sun bring to the solar eclipse party?
A light snack!

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.

What did the sun say when it reappeared after an eclipse?
"Pleased to heat you again."

What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?
Fruit of the Moon!

How do you organize a solar eclipse party?
You planet.

Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.

Why did the teacher bring solar eclipse glasses to school?
She had bright students!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Quotes From My Cousin

Famous quotes by Phyllis Diller:

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive, my boyfriend lives forty miles away.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type