Friday, June 24, 2016

California Spaghetti Salad

Thought I would try this for the reunion this coming Sunday. Sounds good, just hope it is.

A delicious spaghetti salad filled with fresh summer veggies and olives, topped with a zesty italian dressing and parmesan cheese.

1 pound thin spaghetti broken into 1 inch pieces
1 pint cherry tomatoes, chopped in half
2 medium zucchini diced
1 large cucumber, diced
1 medium green bell pepper, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 large red onion, diced
2 cans (2 1/4 oz. each) sliced ripe olives, drained

DRESSING
1 bottle (16 oz.) Italian salad dressing
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 T sesame seeds
1 t paprika
1/2 t celery seed
1/4 t garlic powder

1. Cook the pasta according to package directions, drain and rinse in cold water. Add cherry tomatoes, zucchini, cucumber, green and red peppers, red onion and olives in large bowl
2. To make the dressing: Whisk together Italian dressing, Parmesan cheese, sesame seeds, paprika, celery see and garlic powder. Pour over salad and toss until coated. Cover and refrigerate for 3 hours or over night. (MYSELF, I MAY NOT USE SESAME SEEDS, DON'T THINK I HAVE THEM IN MY CUPBOARD AND WILL NOT USE THE GARLIC POWDER, SINCE ITALIAN DRESSING USUALLY HAS ENOUGH GARLIC IN IT AND I CAN'T TOLERATE TOO MUCH GARLIC)
Hope it turns out ok.



Wednesday, June 22, 2016

There's Nothing the Matter with Me!

There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

And arch supports I need for my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?

The reason I know my youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.

The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say, "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.

I AM FINE; HOW ARE YOU?

Received from Cathy Gilstrap.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Goodbye Grandpa:
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died!

"Holy crap!" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the 'other side'!" Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock! He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day.....had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived ! He made it! He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me today. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

Monday, June 20, 2016

Friday, June 17, 2016

Pretty Much Says It All

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Received in my email this morning.

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions, and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted