Saturday, November 28, 2015


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions!" he observed.

To the first mother, (from Ontario ) Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, (from Manitoba ) Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce (from BC): "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, (from Newfoundland ) Carol, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."

Friday, November 27, 2015

Want To Go Out?

One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of the evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth

Thursday, November 26, 2015

For all our Family & Friends

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Day Before

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Pretty Clever Tags

Monday, November 23, 2015

Black and White TV

Black and White (Under age 40? You won't understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
'Good Night, David.
Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE... And risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option... Even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah... And where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either; because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off.

Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house.

Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family.

How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.

We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?


Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often the best.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Something to think about not just on Sunday but Every Day

"When you sit down to eat, pray. When you eat bread, do so thanking Him for being so generous to you.

If you drink wine, be mindful of Him who has given it to you for your pleasure and as a relief in sickness.

When you dress, thank Him for His kindness in providing you with clothes.

When you look at the sky and the beauty of the stars, throw yourself at God’s feet and adore Him
who in His wisdom has arranged things in this way.

Similarly, when the sun goes down and when it rises, when you are asleep or awake, give thanks to God, who created and arranged all things for your benefit, to have you know, love and praise their Creator."

— St. Basil the Great