GOOD (MONDAY) MORNING

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Hope everyone has a terrific start to a new week.

Still getting over the large meal we had prepared for us on Saturday in celebration of our Birthday's. Eveything was delicious. Our daughters are all great cooks. In fact I had for my breakfast this morning warmed up noodles with chicken. I love home made noodles cooked in good rich chicken broth. I usually eat them with a soup spoon since they have a tendency to fall off a fork. Abe's waiting and hoping the fellows that are going to install our new fence will arrive today, but so far, it's now 9:30am, they haven't arrived.

Here are a few jokes, hope you enjoy. More later.

THOUGHTS
1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
2. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 A.M. It could be a right number.
3. Think about this: No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning.
4. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a Nap.
5. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
6. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
7. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
8. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
9. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
10. No one ever ruined their eyes from looking at the bright side of things.

Car Trouble...
A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow.

"I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer.

The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves.
Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there.

He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig."

The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there.

"Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow.

The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves.
Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there.

Take a Sweater
Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.

The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they've lost their minds.

"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for either sex or golf ' ...and she said ... "Take a sweater.

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