Sunday, November 25, 2007

LADIES, DON'T GET UPSET WITH ME, GOT THIS IN MY E-MAIL, THOUGHT THE MEN MIGHT LIKE IT.


DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

4 comments:

Steph said...

That's baddddddddddd but oh so funny ! LOL

Kelly Ann said...

I adore all the jokes and fun things you post Patty. Have a great day! :)

Anonymous said...

Who is that woman who wants sex all the time?

Merle said...

Hi Patty ~~ These are so funny, thanks for the laughs. Thank you for your letter, and I also take one of those weekly calcium tablets. Mine
are called Fosamax. Annoying that you can't lie down after taking them. think they give you indigestion.
I hope all your tests are going well with good results. Take care my friend, Love, Merle.