A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/Kentucky State line.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Roanoke to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and asked if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, A car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy, from Tennessee , got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, " You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test!!"
Now for a little man bashing
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
Five Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Record your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement "My purpose is to____ today."
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.