Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Brick Layer's Misery...

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.


Anonymous said...

This is a very funny story. You read it to me this morning.

Wanda said...

I heard this a long time ago, and it was so funny ~~ I had forgotten it ~ nice to read it again!

BTW Patty ~ regarding the paintings and the Magazine ads on the car. I saw the photo's in the magazine painted my redition ~~ It would have been nice to be the other way around and gotten paid for it ~~ That was a nice compliment from you ~ I've never had any of my painted used in that way ~ So far my watercolors are for my personal enjoyment ~ I am goint to pursue my greeting cards when we move and will have a catalog for them.
Love and Hugs

Old Wom Tigley said...

I'm laughing like a fool here Patty... Jane just shout through.. 'As Patty sent you another joke'...

Renie Burghardt said...

Very funny story, Patty!

Hope you had a good day and have a great evening.


Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Just catching up n your last few posts. I like the bricklayer story, we have a similar one here, and the Computer user's Reboot poem
would be very handy at times. I loved
your little Orange Blossom, she's just right. Thanks for your visit. Have you got all those pine cones
cleaned up? Can you burn them for warmth? Take great care Patty, I hope you are keeping well. Love, Merle.

reader Wil said...

Anyway he lived to tell the tale!LOL