Thursday, June 26, 2008

I Think He's A Pretty Funny Guy


The Wisdom Of Larry the cable Guy......

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1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

7 comments:

Nancy said...

These are hilarious! You have quite an enjoyable blog here! I am going to go back and read some of your older posts as time allows, but I still work so I don't have as much time as I'd like, to do the things I enjoy. I am behind in reading blogs this week already due to my daughter's cat being so sick and having surgery yesterday. Back to the Upstate Veterinary Specialists today, which is in another city 25 miles away. Spent 7 hours with this little cat on Tuesday , and also with him Monday at our regular vet. I am behind in my work, blogging, housework, etc. LOL

Keep the funnies coming! This was my first chuckle of the day!

(((HUGS)))

Martin Stickland said...

Where do you get these gems from patty, great sayings!

Hope you are well, the sun is shining here in little old England!

Take care my friend!

Love Martin, Jackie and the boys

Gramma Ann said...

These are so funny. I often wonder how his mind works, how does he comes up with all those off the wall sayings. I could set all day and never would I think of things like that. But they are always so funny.

I like the way Jeff Foxworthy's mind works too. "You might be a redneck" if....

Have a sunny fun filled day.

raccoonlover1963 said...

I love Larry the Cable Guy. When I lived in Florida, I used to hear him when he called into the radio stations and talked to the DJ's. That was when he got his start.
My fairy name is Bramble Icefilter.

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Funny, funny, funny, Mrs. L! I love the one about bacteria being the only culture some folks have! Thanks for my morning laugh!

Wanda said...

What would we do without our morning dose of happiness with Patty...

Your blog and a cup of coffee, what an excellent combination!!

Lots of Love dear one
Wanda

Renie Burghardt said...

A funny guy he is, indeed! I enjoyed these.

Good night, Patty.

Renie