Monday, June 23, 2008

Sarcasm at it's best-Part One

Zen Sarcasm - Part One

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.


Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Two good posts I just read. I like those sorts of things.
Thanks for your comments and I agree we never caught anything from aprons,
except love. I hope the week has started well for you, my friend,
Love, Merle.

Captain Mary said...

I loved it, it certainly says it all, great stuff wish I could have thought of it myself.

Mental P Mama said...

Love it! #1 and #5 are my favorites....

Old Wom Tigley said...

Number 11 is a good one.. money well spent I'd say :O)

Gramma Ann said...

"Sarcasm" love it when it's all in jest! I think I need to go use some 'sarcasm' on Abe's Bird blog. He is threatening to close it, if enough people don't comment. Since I don't want you closing yours, I thought I better leave a comment;)) I visit everyday even if I don't comment. Just wanted you to know.

Have a happy day.

Wanda said...

My computer was giving me trouble for several hours this morning so I'm really late getting my reading done.

Loved this list ~~ I reminds me of the "fractured" Nursery Rhymes, like Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall ~ all the kinds horses and all the kings men had an omlet!!

Enjoyed these - What a nice laugh.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Those are great.. especially the one about the

Thanks for the laughs...

Renie Burghardt said...

Number 2 is so true! Personal experience. But they're all good. Looking forward to part two.

Night, Patty