Friday, June 20, 2008

You're going to love this


She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, Who was THAT?"

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."

A second grader came ho me from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'".

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants".



Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Great funnies, loved the thermometer one and how to make babies. Thanks for sharing those and for posting the award and passing it on. I loved the story of Dancing in the rain. How loving the words, "I still know who she is." Lovely thought. Take care dear friend, Thanks for the things you have sent me lately. Love, Merle.

Gramma Ann said...

Chuckled all the way through the reading. I will have to send these to all my grandma friends.

Becky and Gary said...

How true they all are, and so funny!
Congratulations on 2 accounts ! First on your anniversary. My hubby and I are celebrating 39 years on July 12th...
Secondly on surviving breast cancer and twice ! I am a 13 year breast cancer survivor myself with no family history. Those Mammograms are SO important. Take care..

Betsy said...

Those were great...laughed out loud at the third one!

reader Wil said...

It's funny indeed Patty! I really had to laugh all the time! Did you start at one? God and you are alike... you're both old. Great! Thanks for your visit!

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Yep! love it!

Anonymous said...

The one with the towel around her head was funny. I laughed outloud at it.

Andrée said...

My grandson came for the summer yesterday, so I truly laugh at these! It's gonna be a great summer!

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Patty,

These are funny! The towel on the head one reminded me of an episode with one of my granddaughters when she was three. Only, when she saw me with the towel on my head after a shower, she said, "Nana, you look scary!"

I enjoyed these. Thanks for sharing them. Have a good night.


Wanda said...

I have worn many hats, and a few titles in my lifetime, but the name I treasure and best title I ever was given was "Grandma GG"! That all the acclaim in this world I desire!

Wonderful post, fun and true.

GrandmaKathleen said...

Great post, thanks for bring smiles this early morning.
I have 2 grandsons 2 and 3 1/2, I will have to listen closely to what they say when I talk to them on the phone.