Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.
Our fiftieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.
I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night