Friday, August 29, 2008

Listen up ladies

Poor Paddy

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

'You disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!'

And Paddy (for it was he) replied 'Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed , 'but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And Paddy began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good cleanup I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair.'

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?


The 4th Sister said...

Oh this one was good!

Anonymous said...

I love this post. It is funny.

I really love the post yesterday. That is a real winner in my book.

Hope you had fun at your mother's house today.

Wanda said...

Oh Patty ~~ your stories always have a twist.....You have to read the whole thing or you miss the funnest part.


Gramma Ann said...

Getting together with family and friends is always fun. I hope you had a fun day with your Mother today.

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Patty,

And how is your Mom doing? I hope really well.

As for Paddy, I hope she smacked him in the noggin with the frying pan she probably never uses, after his explanation!

Good night.


Tomate Farcie said...

The guy makes a good point ;)

Good night, everybody!

Nancy said...

Old Joe is going to LOVE you!!!! ha-ha Poor old Paddy didn't have a leg to stand on, did he? ha-ha

(((((( HUGS ))))))