Friday, August 29, 2008

Listen up ladies

Poor Paddy

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

'You disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!'

And Paddy (for it was he) replied 'Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed , 'but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And Paddy began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good cleanup I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has the same pair.'

Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

7 comments:

The 4th Sister said...

Oh this one was good!

Abraham Lincoln said...

I love this post. It is funny.

I really love the post yesterday. That is a real winner in my book.

Hope you had fun at your mother's house today.

Wanda said...

Oh Patty ~~ your stories always have a twist.....You have to read the whole thing or you miss the funnest part.


Funny.....

Gramma Ann said...

Getting together with family and friends is always fun. I hope you had a fun day with your Mother today.

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Patty,

And how is your Mom doing? I hope really well.

As for Paddy, I hope she smacked him in the noggin with the frying pan she probably never uses, after his explanation!

Good night.

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

The guy makes a good point ;)

Good night, everybody!

Nancy said...

Old Joe is going to LOVE you!!!! ha-ha Poor old Paddy didn't have a leg to stand on, did he? ha-ha

(((((( HUGS ))))))