Thursday, August 28, 2008

"Revised" golden oldies we all love

It was fun being a baby boomer

... until now.

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits
with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers:

They include:

Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .

Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?

Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Roberta Flack --- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now !

Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair!

Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba --- Denture Queen!

Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore !

Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want Too!

And my favorite:

Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again !!

NOW FOR A SWEET LITTLE STORY:

Improvement
===========
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,

"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

6 comments:

Gramma Ann said...

"Splish, Splash, I'm having a 'flash'" and "Knock 3 times... if you've fallen on the floor." These were my favorites, but really they are all so funny. LOL

Will have to send these to my sister.

Wanda said...

Oh these are just wonderful...I can't believe how true they are the older I get.

BTW Patty I loved reading your comment on your grandparents.

You should start your own "story" blog.

Lots of Love
Wanda

Tomate Farcie said...

Isn't that the truth. I saw the Rolling Stones in concert in SF Bay Area a few years ago and it was a little odd to see these guys so much older than what how I remembered them from the 60's and 70's. But then again, we too have changed a great deal since the 60's and 70's!

The 4th Sister said...

my laugh for the day

Renie Burghardt said...

Ha, funny, but only because I have a sense of humor! LOL. And the little story about the grandpa and the little girl was cute.

Have a good night, Patty!

Renie

The Mulligan Family said...

Love the "improved" song titles... "First time ever I forgot your face".. too funny!! Love the Grandpa and Granddaughter story too. Very cute.