Friday, October 10, 2008

Can you picture this one, I can

Funny Accident Report

Dear Sirs:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the Accident Report Form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.

You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of my new six-story building; when I completed my work, I discovered I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the Accident Report Form, that my weight is 175 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section III of the Accident
Report Form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence.

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer again to my weight in Block 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and the severe lacerations on my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope!

Sincerely,
Bill

10 comments:

Rinkly Rimes said...

I'm just off to bed, having just listened to the most dire news report!! But at least your story made me smile. Things could be worse!

Gramma Ann said...

Oh My!!!Patty this can't be real. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Unfortunately I couldn't stop laughing. I hope the poor guy recovered and is doing better by now. I guess that is what you could call the "school of hard knocks!"

Winifred said...

Just what you need at the moment, a good laugh.

Thanks Patty

Renie Burghardt said...

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Poor guy! LOL.

Have a good night, Patty.

Renie

CINDY BUCKLEY said...

I can picture it! Funny and painful! I hope it was just a joke.

Wanda said...

Oh I have heard this before, but it's just as funny.....

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ We have a different version of this story, so I will try to locate it. Thanks for your comments about
the phone story - the old operators were so helpful. Not so now. Sorry your cat tries to get on the kitchen table, I guess that's where the food is. Dogs still being cooperative, but they want me to go and play with them as they look in the back door. I weaken sometimes.
Take care, my friend, Love, Merle.

The Mulligan Family said...

Real or Not... that sounds painful - YET! I still laughed until my sides hurt. Hmmm... what does that say about ME? :-)

Nancy said...

What a story!!! There are a lot of dummies out there in the world today....LOL

(((((( HUGS ))))))

Tomate Farcie said...

Poor guy, hope it was a joke!