Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Kids still say the darnest things.

Kids....

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'
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As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'
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Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn , I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.'
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Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!
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On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. 'Who's winning?' I shouted. 'I am,' said one kid. 'Me,' said another. 'No, me,' yelled the third. Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, 'Their mother is.'
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On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. 'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer.
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Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'
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Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, 'That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?' .... Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How long was he missing?'

13 comments:

Reader Wil said...

How wonderful children can think! Thank you for this lovely post!

Rottlady of the Ozarks said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rottlady of the Ozarks said...

Please delete that first post I made, I screwed up....

These are some really funny comments.

Gramma Ann said...

Those are all precious!

Winifred said...

They are absolutely great. Much better than any jokes the comedians use.

The 4th Sister said...

When my 1st Grand Daughter was 4 I was talking to her about....Next year you will be in school and have lots of friends and then Granny will have no friends, cause you are my only friend.....She responded, "Granny if you want to have friends you have to be nicer."

Margaret Cloud said...

I have enjoyed reading this post, very funny.

Renie Burghardt said...

Kids do still say the darndest things! Haha. Very cute.

Have a good night, Patty.

Rosy said...

Funny and wonderful cute ones here, thank you for making me laugh.

Reader Wil said...

Thanks again for your comments and congratulations with your new president! He will have a very difficult job and he knows it, but may be we will have peace now in this world now.

Priyanka Khot said...

this was such a laugh!!!

Many congratulations for the new president.

Sai Charan Deeti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tomate Farcie said...

These are pretty funny! I love the one with the little girl screaming "no thank you!" Poor thing, though, I know just what how she feels. Always hated shots myself!