Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Does this sound like your boss?

Marvelous Management...

A magazine ran a "management quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life dysfunctional managers.

Here were the top ten finalists:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."

3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."

4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."

5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."

7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."

8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."

9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"


9 comments:

Abe Lincoln said...

The first one is crazy. But thats the way things work.

The 4th Sister said...

I look at Abe's Bird Blog and Gobsmacks each day,,,,but your's is always so much more amusing...

Femin Susan said...

I agree with abe lincoln.
The first one is crazy.But thats the way things work.
cheers!

Pat - Arkansas said...

Choice quotes! All of them sound like they could have come from folks I used to work with. Did I say I'm happy to be retired?

Brenda said...

So glad I don't have a boss...ha.

Femin Susan said...

there were side effects after eating all those pickled mangoes. I was not able to to sleep because my stomach was burning like anything. The amount of chilly powder taken in was tooo much. Hope my sister had the same.
Cheers!

nanny said...

retirement,,,,can't bet it! i left you an award,,,,stop and get it,,,guess you read mine before I was through writing it. Somehow I saved it as a draft and then I can only publish then edit..... I thought maybe while I was editing it would not be visible...oh well ,,,I try/ha
I do love your blog, I always leave smiling!

Wanda said...

I worked for a couple of those bosses....


You keep a smile on my face. What a nice place to visit.

Take care Patty....

Wanda

Renie Burghardt said...

Ha, well, I'm glad I am now my own boss, and don't have to deal with such marvellous bosses. LOL.

Have a nice evening, Patty.

Renie