Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Hope everyone enjoys these.

A little church humor

Pastors
A preacher said to a farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family?"
"No," he said, "they live two farms down."
"No, I mean are you lost?"
"No, I've been here thirty years."
"I mean, are you ready for Judgment Day?"
"When is it?"
"Could be today or tomorrow."
“Well, when you find out for sure when it is, you let me know.
My wife will probably want to go both days!"
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Call to Another Church

A pastor places his order at the pet store. "I need at least 50 mice, 2,000 ants and as many of those little silverfish you can get"
The clerk replies, "We can probably do that, but it might take some time.
Mind if I ask why you are placing such an unusual order?"
The pastor replies, "I've accepted a call to another church and the pastor's council told me to leave the parsonage the way I found it."
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Farewell Offering

During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he served for some months, his hat was passed around for a goodwill offering.
When it returned to the pastor, it was empty. The pastor didn't flinch.
He raised the hat to Heaven and said, "I thank You, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation."
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Holy Communion

Being a new pastor to an aging congregation, I told them I would be serving them prune juice in Holy Communion. When asked why I would dare entertain such a thought, I said,
"If the Holy Spirit won't move you...the prune juice will!"
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Hot Air Hand Dryers

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two
weeks, took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine, but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."

11 comments:

Margaret Cloud said...

Patty, I don't know where you get all these fun stories, I smile every time I read them, keep it up, have a nice Easter and thanks for coming by.

Brenda said...

HAAHAha...those were funny. Pass the prune juice!

Gramma Ann said...

Funny!! Another morning with a smile on my face.

nituscorner said...

i loved this....am still laughing. great patty.
happy easter in advance to you and family.

Pat - Arkansas said...

These brought out a belly laugh, Patty, especially the one about the hot air hand dryer!! LOL

Twisted Fencepost said...

Funny, Patty!
That last one gave me a giggle.

Tomate Farcie said...

These are pretty clever!! I like the hot air sermon, and the one with the empty hat!

Rosy said...

Ha Ha Ha hee hee hee ha ha ha ha What a crack up Patty!!

Winifred said...

These are really funny.

Have a lovely Easter.

The Mulligan Family said...

Fantastic! I always know exactly whose blog to visit when I need a laugh!

Nancy said...

I wish I could read your blog from the very beginning and get caught up! Maybe someday I will! These were all so funny! I need some chuckles after the day I've had! LOL

((( HUGS )))