Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
God gave you two ears and one mouth... so you should listen twice as much as you talk.
The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string -- handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.
Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
Avenge yourself - live long enough to be a problem to your children.