Monday, June 29, 2009

Who can replace the light bulbs????

Light Bulbs in Hollywood...

How many studio executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1,000. One to do it and the others to say, "I would've done that differently."

How many D. P.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. No, two. No, wait.... how many do we have on the truck?

How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candleholder...

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nine. One to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a... Done!

How many development executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb? The bulb is in and it's staying in!

How many first A. D.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Why the heck are you asking me? Can't you see I'm busy!

How many U. P. M.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! Make it a day exterior we won't screw around with all these light bulbs!

How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if I really had to choose, there's this one bulb, he's a little oversized for the socket but he burns really bright, or wait, no, there's this little bulb, he's really energy efficient if you want to save time and money, but, wait, there's a fabulous bulb I just saw in a showcase, he has no name value whatsoever, but the design was to die for, but, wait...

How many extras does it take to screw in a light bulb? Is that a S. A. G. light bulb? How did it get its card? Did it know someone?

How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? It doesn't matter--nobody will give them credit anyway.

How many publicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That is a total rumor. The light bulb has some very good friends, but at this time, is not interested in screwing.

How many directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. The director just holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him.

How many prop masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Light bulb? Light bulb? The script doesn't mention any light bulb!

How many union electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. You got a problem with that?

How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Executive producers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.


8 comments:

kavita said...

Patty...you always come up with something new and funnier.....only that A.D. PART BELOW SCREENWRITER...please help me understand it.

Abe Lincoln said...

This is a funny post. Some of the sayings made me laugh.

Reader Wil said...

Good morning, Patty! Very funny! But what do P.A, A.D, U.P.M, and S.A.G. mean? I cannot find them in my dictionary. Those abbreviations are incomprehensible for a non English speaking person.

Gramma Ann said...

You put a smile on my face again this morning. ;)

Brenda said...

I laughed at these and myself because I don't know what the abbreviated ones were. Have a great day!

Renie Burghardt said...

I laughed, too, but don't know what the abbreviations are!

Have a good night, Patty.

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

Funny stuff! I didn't understand all the abbreviations but some stuff is self-explanatory! ;) These light bulb jokes always contain a little bit of truth.

(PS. Oh, I just saw the comments. Looks like I'm not the only one sractching my head with the abbreviations. Good! :)

Patty said...

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ABBREVIATIONS STAND FOR EITHER. Perhaps D.P. is Director of Photography, but the others I ahve no idea. LOL