Saturday, August 15, 2009

Taco Bell

I copied this from a friend's blog go here to visit her Helen
That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.

He said, “It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied.

I am 48, not even 50 yet – a mere child!* Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? **As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me??

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!

What am I now?**A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"*

I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. Leaving keys behind hardly makes a person elderly! It could happen to anyone! I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

I had no purple beads hanging from MY rearview mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.*

That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was - what is the world coming to? All I could say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here?”

At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.*

As I walked in the front door, Rhea met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.



Judy said...

That is a good one, Patty :) I'm glad he had his "blanky" to seek comfort with. :) Home, safe and cozy.
I know that when I'm feeling *outta sorts* I get my fave afghan (a small one) and a pillow and cover up and take a nap on my sofa. :)

Reader Wil said...

Good story, Patty! I know the feeling!!

Granny on the Web said...

That was one hello of a day of senior moments!
They are just normal around this house...

Love Granny

Charles said...

good story. We're getting there quick...and with embarressing moments.

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahaha! Maybe he overreacted a little ;)

Nobody's offered me a senior citizen discount yet but I remember the first time a "kid" called me "Mam" I suppose senior citizen's discount is next.

Renie Burghardt said...

Poor guy! A senior moment, and he wasn't even a senior.

Great story. Once you get to be over 70, they're not so unusual anymore, are they?

Have a good evening, Patty.


Rosy said...

It never fails, each and every time I come here all I can do is laugh and this one really fits the bill for sure! I got to laughing so hard that I even spilled my coffee! Or was that just old age telling me I forgot that my coffee cup still had some old coffee in it yet? lol

The Mulligan Family said...

Oh Lord! Too funny!

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ OLD at 49, poor guy.?
Glad you enjoyed the Boss joke and the neighbors fence quote.
I sure hope my laptop gets well tomorrow when the technician comes,
as I am using a safe mode system at present, Has big printing, but doesn't do everything. Take care, my
friend, Love, Merle.

Twisted Fencepost said...

Getting old? Pshaw....
I'd say he just had a bad day.
Getting old is a state of mind. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. tee hee