* Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the darn box all day!
* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
* That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
* Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
* When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
* If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."
* If your boss calls you and aske you to come into his office for a minute the walk there is like a funeral march... people hand you tissues as you pass and refuse to make eye contact.
* You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone.