Thursday, February 11, 2010

Excuses, excuses

The Top Ten, Have One, Need One, Virus Excuses

1. The Macy's One Day Sale, Flu.

2. The Drivers License Renewal Appointment, 24-Hour Virus.

3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden,
Unbearable Stomach Pains.

4. The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's
Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then,
Mysterious Infection.

5. The My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly, I'm Too
Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.

6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening
Appointments, Bout of Influenza.

7. The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a,
Day Off Sickness.

8. The It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager,
Again General Ailment.

9. The I've Messed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the
Music, Terminal Illness.

10. The I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and the
Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It,
Infirmity.




8 comments:

Abraham Lincoln said...

I liked the last one. And the first one.

Arkansas Patti said...

Hum, where were those excuses when I was in the work force.

Beth Niquette said...

The last one fits my family! I just talked with poor Mumsie--she's getting hit three sheets to the wind by the hospital, doctors, anesthesiologists and the like, from last July's accident.

I just feel like slapping those people. Everything they present is so confusing to Dad and Mums. I feel so badly for them.

Dad has to wear his neck brace a little longer--and he's feeling really depressed. I am worried. The doc did give some good news, though--there appears to be some healing in the neck bones. They're just waiting to schedule Dad for a cat scan so they can see if he can take that brace off.

Dad says he's going to sit it up on the back fence and use it for target practice. lol Well, I don't blame him.

Have a great day, Patty!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL...I'm always afraid it will actually come true!

Margaret Cloud said...

These are good. I especially liked #9.

Renie Burghardt said...

Haha, good ailments! The number 7 makes perfect sense to me, why is there not a Federal Illness Holiday?

Have a great evening. Going to watch the Dog Show tonight. They always put me in a good mood.

Renie

Cheryl said...

These were such a hoot! Chuckled my way through them.

Twisted Fencepost said...

And I think I've heard the most of them....