Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'll try to start posting blonde jokes on Wednesday's

Don't know any blondes who fit this, but........

DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

10 comments:

Arkansas Patti said...

As a former blonde, I do love blonde jokes. Even more so now that no one know what color the grey once was.

Margaret Cloud said...

Good ones, the more I read the dumber they became. Thanks for making us laugh and thank you for coming by.

Lady Di Tn said...

Blonde jokes and little Johnnie jokes are always so funny. Have you heard the one where a blonde was sitting in a chair getting her hair done and she is wearing ear phones. As time went by, the blonde falls asleep. The hair dresser thinking it will be so much easier to complete the hair style with the ear phones off, she removes them and finishes the hair do. When the hair dresser tries to wake the blonde up she finds instead that the blonde is dead. She calls 911 and picks up the ear phones and hears "Breath In, Breath Out." Hope this makes you lol. Peace

Patty said...

LOL - Lady Di, love that one, have never heard it before.

madcobug said...

Cute ones! Helen

Clytie said...

Too funny! What a wonderful laugh to start my day!

Cheryl said...

I liked the info on the moon and loved the blonde jokes!

Shionge said...

Hehehhe...cracking up now and what a way to start my morning...thank you :) kekekekek...(still laughing)

reanaclaire said...

Patty, blondes are often made fun of.. i wonder why .. :) dumb blonde, that is the saying, right?

Renie Burghardt said...

LOL, these were all good!

Have a nice evening.