Monday, August 23, 2010

Gotcha!!! LOL

MURDER AT WALMART
Tired of constantly
being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided
to solve both problems by taking out
a large insurance policy on his wife
with himself as the beneficiary,
and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend'
put him in touch with a nefarious
dark-side underworld figure
who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie explained to the husband
that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing
to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect
his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at
least something up front,
so the man opened his wallet,
displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes,
& reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later,
Artie followed the man's wife
to the local Super Wal-Mart Store.
There he surprised her in the produce department
& proceeded to strangle her
with his gloved hands.

As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor,
the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly
onto the murder scene.
Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind,
ol' Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie,
the entire proceedings were captured
by the hidden security cameras
& observed by the store's security guard,
who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before
he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning
at the police station,
Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
Including his unusual financial arrangements
with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the ewspaper,
the headline read...

(You're going to hate me for this...)

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

Oh, quit groaning!
I don't write this stuff.
I received it from one of
my warped friends
and passed it on to you!


10 comments:

Arkansas Patti said...

Can you hear the groan?? You should. Good thing I like groaners.

reanaclaire said...

excuse me.. Artie Chokes 2 is a sort of a food or drink in Walmart? :)

kavita said...

Hahaa...hilarious !

Reader Wil said...

I shall never ever eat artichokes!!;)

Terra said...

Big groan from here. LOL

Mental P Mama said...

LOL....love it!

Gramma Ann said...

I'm slow, I had to read the punch line two times before I got it, than I groaned because I'm so slow to catch on. Than I LOL...

Twisted Fencepost said...

*snicker*groan*snicker*

HUMMING WORDS PUBLISHERS said...

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Margaret Cloud said...

Patty, I loved this and the ending was great.