Thursday, August 19, 2010

Leave it to Maxine

Maxine's Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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9 comments:

cleffairy said...

Hahahaha... I also wanna retire early. =D

http://cleffairy.com

Arkansas Patti said...

Sounds a bunch like my resume.

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

I'm looking forward to trying the retirement,sometime soon,hopefully.

KleinsteMotte said...

Really? Sometimes you're busier when you're retired. Just hope you enjoy it!! Do you? I would think so because of the humour.

Gramma Ann said...

I'm like Maxine, I tried Retirement and found I'm perfect for the job. Fun post today.

Renie Burghardt said...

Me, too! Retirement is the best job I ever had. "Hello Pension. Goodbye tension!" Hehe.

Enjoy your evening, Patty.

Wanda said...

Gotta love Maxine!

Merle said...

Hi Patty ~~ I have just caught up with all your great posts and have
enjoyed them all. Retirement is all
some of us have left.
I hope your allergies have settled down as that is so unpleasant. Doing yard work and then mowing - no wonder That workout joke fitted a lot of us I also have trouble walking still.And cooking is a real chore lately, I just have no energy. I don't think the aneurysm is the problem . I had VERY low blood pressure, so we dropped a B/P tablet and that fixed that/ Then my (pulse) heart rate was VERY
low 47 and should have been double.
I had an ECG and Dr thought I may have angina (the sort that gives a heart attack) So I had another ECG
and haven't heard since. Looking forward to having my brother and friend visit next week.
Take care my friend and don't work too hard. Love, Merle.

Margaret Cloud said...

I like retirement also, I am my own boss. These are very good and funny.