Monday, August 16, 2010

More of Will and Guy's Jokes

Jokes about Lawyers

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
Never enough.

Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A lobotomy.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman.

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
Because people could not tell which side to spit on.


Arkansas Patti said...

Funny and too true. What happened to the Perry Masons of the world??

Winifred said...

Oh yes, think there's a lot of truth there. Until recent years solicitors here were a well respected profession. Now they're thought of like bankers!

Renie Burghardt said...

The person who came up with these wasn't too fond of lawyers, was he? LOL.

Beautiful day here today. One could spend time outside without fearing for one's life!

Have nice evening, Patty.

Wanda said...

I always get a kick out of Lawyer jokes, as we have no lawyers in the family. HaHaHa.

Beth Niquette said...

Lawyer jokes are SUCH fun!!! lol someone is starting to use these same jokes only they use politicians as the subject. lol