Tuesday, September 07, 2010

More one liners

Steve Wright
American Comedian born 1955

Step 1 Get into state - Imagine a comedian with a laconic drawl.

1. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

2. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

3. How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?

4. Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?

5. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

6. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

7. How did a fool and his money get together?

8. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

9. What's another word for thesaurus?

10. Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

11. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

12. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


reanaclaire said...

couldnt repair the brakes but make the horn louder.. that is a new one!! lol...

Margaret Cloud said...

That #5 is a good one, I enjoyed them all. Just keep us smiling and laughing. Thank you for coming by.

Lady Di Tn said...

Good quotes. How does the snowplough guy get to work? LOL

Cheryl said...

Oh Patty, you always make my day brighter!

sheila lynch said...

thanks for making me smile:)

ChrisJ said...

There are some really good ones here. I too wondered about the snowplough one. :)