Thursday, September 02, 2010

Tommy Cooper Jokes

One liners (Cooperisms)

Tommy Cooper was more than a catch phrase, he had an original approach. Biographers say that in his earliest days, Tommy Cooper was so nervous that he made unintentional mistakes, he soon saw that if he could recreate these accidents then he would have people rolling in the aisles.

In fact Tommy's earliest trick was with a milk bottle. During the course of the trick he was supposed to turn it up-side-down, but when he did the trick, the milk came pouring out along with the audiences laughter. That got Tommy Cooper thinking, I can get applause through making tricks go wrong - deliberately. 'Always leave them laughing'. To get the most from these classic one liners, I suggest that you get into state, imagine that fez hat. 'Just like that'.

* Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

* I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

* I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

* Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

* Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

* A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

* A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

* A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.

* I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

* Slept like a log last night ........ woke up in the fireplace.

* Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

* I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

* I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. So I went, and I got it.'Tommy Cooper Jokes

* I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

7 comments:

Arkansas Patti said...

Haven't heard of Tommy Cooper before, Will check him out.
Thanks for asking but the shoes weren't the culprit. Carelessness and being in a hurry were.
Took a header on my porch. Feeling much better now.

KleinsteMotte said...

Well not only did I laugh but I just spent time learning more about this comedian. Seems he was quite a hit years ago, especially in England. Sadly he died during a performance. That was no joke.! A monument was created in his honour.Thanks Patty for For this. I posted one of the nutty jokes yesterday. Thanks for that too.

Cheryl said...

I enjoyed these! I can count on you to brighten my day. Hope you are all well.

Margaret Cloud said...

I have never heard of Tommy Cooper either. I am sure he was a good comedian.

Wanda said...

Pretty funny..especially the Dr. jokes.

Anna said...

Oh my my, Patty these are very funny, lol. When I started to read, lol, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any, seemed very funny, but the I hit the doctor series, I was laughing out loud. Thanks for good laughs, and smiles. Anna :)

ChrisJ said...

I remember Tommy Cooper very well. I didn't know he was well known over here as well.