Tuesday, October 26, 2010

International Humour (Another from Will & Guy

Jewish Jokes

Firstly, let us say that we have created a joke section for many nationalities, including English (Will) and Welsh (Guy). Secondly, we hope that you will find the tone of these jokes funny rather than offensive.

1) A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, 'Are you comfortable?'
The man says, 'I make a good living.'

2) I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

3) I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

4)Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

5) We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6) My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the loo and cried.

7) She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

8) The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

9) The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, 'Mrs. Cohen, your cheque came back.
Mrs. Cohen answered, 'So did my arthritis!'

10) Doctor: You'll live to be 60.
Patient: I AM 60.
Doctor: See! What did I tell you?


Reader Wil said...

Great jokes! I think the Dutch have the same kind of humour as the British, French, American...

Arkansas Patti said...

I really liked #4 but enjoyed them all. Most often the ethnic group the jokes are about, laugh the loudest. I know I laugh hard at Irish jokes.

Country Mouse Studio said...

Happy birthday, just found you through your husband's blog and spent the last hour laughing at jokes, thanks :O)

Clytie said...

More smiles in the morning! Thank you!

Paz said...

Happy, Happy Birthday!!!! Have a wonderful day.

Best wishes,

Paz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Irina said...

Dear Patty! It is already the 27th here in Moscow, so I have the right to send my congratulations! Happy birthday, wish you health and joy and happiness. I read Abe's blogs and seems that know your lovely family so well. And to call you Abe and Patty. All the best from Russia!

Twisted Fencepost said...

Happy birthday, Patty!!!!

Sally in WA said...

Happy Birthday, Patty! Found you through Abe's blog & FB page. :)

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ I do hope you have had or are having a
really lovely birthday.
My brother Peter has arrived
and we have enjoyed catching up on news. I hope the party was really great. Take care,
Love, Merle.

Reader Wil said...

Happy birthday, dear Patty! I hope that you will celebrate this day many times together with Abe, the children, your grandchildren and other relatives and friends! :)

In Dutch we say:
"Lang zal ze leven" I am sure you can translate it!!

Lady Di Tn said...

Thanks for making me laugh. Peace

Patty said...

I want to thank all of my friends for their Birthday wishes. Thank you, thank you. Our one daughter is going to prepare dinner this evening. What a treat, I won't have to cook.

Winifred said...

Hope you had a lovely birthday Patty.

I can hear George Burns telling these! Brilliant.

Merle said...

Hi again Patty ~ Thanks for your comments. I have enjoyed having Peter here and a couple of cousins came to see us today as well as my son, John. Tomorrow will be more difficult saying goodbye to a dear friend and seeing her husband's
pain. They were such a loving couple for over 50 years. Take care, dear
Patty. Love, Merle.