Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Excuse some of the words in this email, that's how I received it.

No Cell Phones
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way, I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or i-Tunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Actually, most cars did not have a tape player AND they did not have an FM radio, much less satellite -- just cracky, staticy AM radio that often went off the air at sundown! Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one.

You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! Some of us even remember a little thing called a 'Party line'!.....

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE.

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no! no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980's or any time before!

Regards, to the Over 40 Crowd

(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile)


A.Marie said...

Now THIS was FUNNY! Since I am over 40, I can totally relate to all of this. I had to laugh at the "No Remotes!" LOL ;)

Denise said...

Oh my, this was great. Thanks for another early morning chuckle Patty. How's the weather your way. We had a pretty fierce thunderstorm and lightning last night with heavy rain. 54 deg F.this morning here in northern Virginia, and at least it's sunny.

Arkansas Patti said...

That was delightful and if I could take my computer, I'd go back in an instant.

kavita said...

Hilarious !!

Clytie said...

Oh yeah. Kids today have it so rough! Snicker.

How about phones that had cords, and rotary dial?

On the other hand, there was milk delivered fresh to your door, and doctors who made house calls!

Sigh, the 'good old days'!

Beth Niquette said...

Wow--things sure have changed! I'm so glad I lived in the good ole days when we spent our time outside playing on weekends!

Tch tch tch...I do remember party lines and rotary phones. when we had to use payphones and went without if we didn't have the correct change. lol

I've read our world has changed more in the past five years, than in the last 50 before.

I wonder where it will all end up.

Love post, Patty!

Lady Di Tn said...

Okay that hit the nail on the head. It would be funny to take all that easy stuff away from the youth today and see how they would fare. LOL Peace

Renie Burghardt said...

My daughter would agree with todays kids having it easy, for sure! And I would agree with my kids having it easy, compared to me! I suppose in the future, when kids will be whizzing by in their personal space vehicles, they will think the "old days" were really hard.

Babli said...

Hahahaha..Very nice, funny and hillarious post..I liked it as well as enjoyed your post very much.

Margaret Cloud said...

First of all I laughed when I read how your mom threw you into the back seat. That was a good interpretation of Child protection (kick ass),. All in all this is the best stuff I have read and laughed about lately, thanks for making us laugh. Hae a great weekend.

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