Monday, November 15, 2010

Will and Guy's Jokes

Real Notes Sent to Milkmen
This was back in the day when milk was delivered to people's front doors. These notes were left in milk bottles.

Dear milkman I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.

More notes left in milk bottles

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle ?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

7 comments:

Arkansas Patti said...

Those are priceless. Didn't know the milk man was so useful, turning mattresses etc. All I ever got was milk and a bill.

reanaclaire said...

So much about milk in this post.. lol.. nice one, Patty.. have a great week ahead..

Lady Di Tn said...

Those were the days. You could go outside and wa la milk, cream, cottage cheese and egg nog. Now we have to go to the store, get the milk out of the freezer, put it in the cart, take it out of the cart in order to pay for it, roll the cart out to the car, take the milk out of the cart, put the milk in the car, put the shopping cart up, when home take the milk out of the car and then put it in the frig. By then, well do we really want any milk. Peace

Sunny said...

I remember those good ole days. The milkman left chocolate milk for me!

And the rest in a silver milkbox that was insulated...on our front porch!

Thanks for the smiles and nice memories. :)

Margaret Cloud said...

I have to say if these notes are real, are the people. What senseless dribble. I use to help deliver milk in the 1950's, it was fun.

Wanda said...

Funny ~ I do remember the "Milkman" where we could also get eggs, cottage cheese, orange juice.

(Glass bottles too)

Country Mouse Studio said...

loved these