Monday, November 08, 2010

Will and Guy's


1) English Words with Quirky Logic

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.

Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England

French fries do not originate in France.

A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

You cannot buy boots in Boots nor virgins in Virgin. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.

Quicksand only works slowly

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

2) Strange Words

There is no parlour in in parlous. (Parlous - dangerous, hazardous)

Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.


3) The Problem with Speaking English

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


Arkansas Patti said...

Good ones per usual Patty. Aren't you glad you aren't trying to learn this crazy language of ours.

Brenda said...

Oh my gosh...that was a good one. I loved the ending. Makes you wonder about us Americans and why we do have more heart attacks. Have a great day!

Winifred said...

Good stuff Patty

Shionge said...

I love this cool :D So fun :D

I must share this with my daughters :D

Cheers :D

Clytie said...

Wonderful, Patty. Once again, you gave me a much needed smile!

Wanda said...

English is a very interesting language isn't it....

A fun read.

Margaret Cloud said...

These sure are a mouth full. I really enjoyed this post, thanks.