Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

** How being a parent can change your life **

When a baby is born into a family it affects every one in that family. However, as you have baby 2 then baby 3, the way in which you deal with the child also changes considerably. Read these suggested differences and enjoy a laugh with Will and Guy.

Your clothing:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.
2nd baby: You wear your ordinary clothes for as long as you are able.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your ordinary clothes.

Getting ready for the day of the birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing as often as possible
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing your breathing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't help at all.
3rd baby: You accept an epidural injection as soon as it is offered.

Major concerns:
1st baby: At the first sign of upset, the slightest cry you pick up the baby for a cuddle.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her cries threaten to wake your neighbours.
3rd baby: You teach your 2 year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor you put it away until you can go home and disinfect it properly.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Buying a layette*:
1st baby: You wash the clothes before organising them into colour coordinated folded piles neatly laid out in the baby’s specially bought chest of drawers.
2nd baby: You make sure that the clothes are clean and throw only the ones with the dirtiest marks on them.
3rd baby: You are heard to say that boys can wear pink, no problem.

Note* Layette means all the clothes you need for a baby. Vests, cardigan, babygro all-in-ones and even bonnets.

Nappies: [Diapers in the USA]
1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every 2 to 3 hours, if required.
3rd baby: You change their nappy when others start to complain about the smell or you see it hanging down low.

What activities do you do with your youngster?
1st baby: You take your child to the Clinic, the Gym, the swimming pool and the Library for story time.
2nd baby: You take your youngster to the Clinic.
3rd baby: You take your child to Asda/Walmart.

Baby sitters:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter you call home 4 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

How you react when at home with the baby:
1st baby: You spend a great deal of time every day just gazing lovingly at your baby.
2nd baby: You spend some of everyday keeping an eye open to ensure that your eldest child isn't squeezing, poking or hurting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend some of every day hiding from the children.


Arkansas Patti said...

Ya know, Phil did look a little gray around the whiskers but I had no idea he was that old. LOL

Renie Burghardt said...

Oh my goodness, this post brought it all back, word for word! LOL

Hope some of the snow and ice melted, and you're staying safe and warm.

Anna said...

It is so true, I always used to get the second treatment, lol.

Great comparison, I will remember that for my next one, lol.

Thanks for sharing, and hope all is well. Anna :)