*A Good Joke about a husband*
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn’t. He just walked in the door."
* Classic short joke *
Where's the English Channel?
I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up.
* Windy? *
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
The third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
* One-liners - Deliberately Chosen to Give Variety and Surprise*
1) Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
2) In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet."
3) I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.
4) Include your children when baking your cookies. (Newspaper leader)