Little Ronnie's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'
Little Ronnie asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'
The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class. She called on her and said, 'Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Daphne quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
A selection of funny football quotes for UK readers.
'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' Alan Shearer
'You've got to believe that you' re going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we' re knocked out.' Peter Shilton
' I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.' Ade Akinbiyi
'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' Ian Wright
'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' Ugo Ehiogu
'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.' Jonathan Woodgate
'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' Stuart Pearce
'The Brazilians were South American, the Ukrainians will be more European.' Phil Neville
'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' Mitchell Thomas
'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' Alan Shearer
'I' d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' Johnny Giles
'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' Thierry Henry.
'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.' Les Ferdinand.
'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' Richard Rufus.
'There's no in between - you' re either good or bad. We were in between.' Gary Lineker.
'If you don't concede any goals you'll win more games than you lose.' Wayne Bridge.