1. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
2. 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
5. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
6. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
7. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
8. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
9. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
10. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?