Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Another from Will and Guy!

Ten Newspaper Mistakes to Do With Medicine

1) The Sunday Times explanation for the extinction of the dinosaurs :- The extinction may well have occurred when a steroid hit the Earth.

2) Another newspaper misprint :- The Welsh international had to withdraw when the cut turned sceptic.

3) From a Sunday newspaper :- The surgeon said he'd removed my momentum - the funny apron of fat that covers the intestines. [The omentum is the medical name for the sheet of fat that covers abdominal organs.]

4) From an article on stomach trouble :- Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious. They are caused by a bug called Helicopter. [Real name Helicobacter pylori.]

5) The Worksop Bugle recently carried a news report about a chap who'd happily "recovered from a tuna of the kidney". [Salad days ahead?]

6) An excerpt from 'Pulse' magazine :- If we are over-diagnosing asthma, then we must be under-diagnosing the other causes of nocturnal cough, such as post-natal drip. [Slip of the 's', post-nasal drip.]

7) From a national newspaper :- Cutting down on fats reduces the risk of heart disease. Try to choose unsaturated fats, which are found in red meat, milk, cheese, coconut oil, palm oil and butter ........ [Most of those contain SATURATED fats which would CAUSE a heart attack.]

8) A transplant surgeon has called for a ban on "kidneys-for-ale" operations.

9) From the South Wales Evening Post :- Cash plea to aid dyslexic cildren.

10) An interesting health tip from Q magazine :- In America you can buy melatonin as a vitamin supplement. It is a hormone that your penile gland secretes when it gets dark. [Actually, melatonin is produced by the pineal gland.]

3 comments:

ChrisJ said...

Oh Patty! Number 10 broke me up! Had to put the lap top down while I recovered. Best joke of the year! What a laugh!

Abe Lincoln said...

Not sure about ten. Maybe that is not what I think it is?

Country Mouse Studio said...

very funny :O)