Will and Guy's Humour

Children's Names
1) Unfortunate names that parents give their Children

Girls Names
Teresa Green
Nora Bone
Dee Zaster
Robyn Banks
Rosie Peach
Penny Wise
Ima Kettle
Dan Druff

Boys
Justin Case
Mike Stand
Seymour Legg
Sean Head
Tim Burr
Ash Hull

Either Gender
Sandy Banks
Shandy Lear
Rusty Nails
Robin Plunder

Girls have an extra hazard, they could marry into a tricky name. For example, Annette Brown marries Joe Curtain and becomes A Net Curtain.

2) What's in a name?
Mrs Warren was discussing the origin of names with her Primary pupils. The 7 year olds were keen and enthusiastic learners and quickly grasped the notion that somebody named Taylor may well have had ancestors in mediaeval times who were makers of clothing. A family name of Baker suggested that in the middle ages their predecessors might have baked bread. First names were talked about: the name William belonged to the heir to the throne of Britain and it meant "conqueror" as in the Norman invader ‘William the Conqueror’ in 1066.

One lad raised his hand and spoke, "Please, Miss. I was named after a wall."

"And what is your name, young man?" asked Mrs Warren.

"Adrian", came the response.

The Roman Emperor Hadrian [AD117-138] felt that his Empire was growing too large. He ordered this wall to be constructed in Northern Britain. It runs for 73 miles and is estimated to be between 13 and 15 feet high. Hadrian wanted a wall built which would mark the northern limits of his empire and consolidate the hold on those parts of Britain already subdued. Hadrian's empire would not include Caledonia. [Scotland]. Although the Roman Army was strong enough to defeat the Picts who lived in Caledonia, Hadrian felt that the rough terrain and the guerrilla tactics employed by the Picts made the conquering of Scotland not worth his while.


3) True Story
A policeman pulled over a teenage girl for a traffic violation in Montana.
"What's your name?"
"Betsy Ross*."
"Date of birth?"
"Fourth of July."

Naturally, she was questioned more closely, as the officer thought that she was 'taking the Mickey'. However, a phone call to her father and he produced the documents to prove that she was indeed Betsy Ross, born on 7/4/1990**.

(* According to Legend Betsy Ross sewed the first American Flag.)
(** 4th of July in American date notation. In Montana it's legal to drive at 15. In Dakota the driving age is as low as 14. However, I understand that at least in some states, drivers under 18 cannot take passengers, unless one passenger is over 25.)