Thursday, March 29, 2012

** How being a parent can change your life **

When a baby is born into a family it affects every one in that family. However, as you have baby 2 then baby 3, the way in which you deal with the child also changes considerably. Read these suggested differences and enjoy a laugh with Will and Guy.

Your clothing:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.

2nd baby: You wear your ordinary clothes for as long as you are able

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your ordinary clothes.

Getting ready for the day of the birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing as often as possible

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing your breathing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't help at all.

3rd baby: You accept an epidural injection as soon as it is offered.

Major concerns:
1st baby: At the first sign of upset, the slightest cry you pick up the baby for a cuddle.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her cries threaten to wake your neighbours.

3rd baby: You teach your 2 year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Dummies: Pacifiers
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor you put it away until you can go home and disinfect it properly.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Buying a layette*:
1st baby: You wash the clothes before organising them into colour coordinated folded piles neatly laid out in the baby’s specially bought chest of drawers.

2nd baby: You make sure that the clothes are clean and throw away only the ones with the dirtiest marks on them.

3rd baby: You are heard to say that boys can wear pink, no problem.

Note* Layette means all the clothes you need for a baby. Vests, cardigan, babygro all-in-ones and even bonnets.

Nappies: [Diapers in the USA]
1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every 2 to 3 hours, if required.

3rd baby: You change their nappy when others start to complain about the smell or you see it hanging down low.

What activities do you do with your youngster?
1st baby: You take your child to the Clinic, the Gym, the swimming pool and the Library for story time.

2nd baby: You take your youngster to the Clinic.

3rd baby: You take your child to Asda/Walmart.

Baby sitters:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter you call home 4 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

How you react when at home with the baby:
1st baby: You spend a great deal of time every day just gazing lovingly at your baby.

2nd baby: You spend some of everyday keeping an eye open to ensure that your eldest child isn't squeezing, poking or hurting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend some of every day hiding from the children.


Honest Abe said...

That last one made me smile - hiding from the children. Finding a place to hide is next to impossible. "Where's mom?"

Merle said...

Hi Patty ~~ This is a very funny but true post. I was about to reply to your reply about that funny one I sent you where everything went wrong and they all said the swear word "bugger"
I was just amazed at that largest flower you sent. It is just wonderful, thanks my friend. Take care, Love, Merle.