Saturday, June 16, 2012

BBQ RULES:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetable sand makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating,the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and Thanks HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Perhaps this is one reason I've never cared for cook outs, more work then just fixing it on the stove and keeping everything indoors. LOL

7 comments:

Helen said...

I can go along with you.

Clytie said...

My brother does the BBQ. He used to sometimes ask me to make the "side dishes" I just stood back and give him "the look". He knows now to just walk away, and figure something out or go hungry!!!

Shionge said...

I am that 'woman' for sure :( So BBQ event is getting less and less hahahah..

Lady Di Tn said...

I usually am the cook too so No manly postering unless, my BIL cooks and then it goes as you say. Peace

Winifred said...

We don't do barbecues either Patty. I don't eat meat & husband doesn't like eating outside unless we are on holiday. Not sure about why!

Hope you're progressing well and the anti-biotics are doing their job!

Honest Abe said...

You got this one right.

Rosy said...

We take turns cooking on the grill, however niether one of us will prepare the salads, we usually have a potlock BBQ so our guest brings the other goodies we just supply the meat.