Thursday, November 15, 2012

Another from Will and Guy

Something Slightly Different

To paraphrase that great comic Monty Python, 'Now for something slightly different'. Here are amusing even clever, plays on words. These are the sort of jokes that make you smile rather than laugh.

# A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
# What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
# A backward poet writes inverse.
# With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
# The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
# He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
# Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
# When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
# Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
# Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
# Acupuncture is a jab well done.
# Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

* Five Funny Wedding Shorts

1) Nicky: I'm a man of few words.
Mike: I'm married, too.
2) The five essential words for a good marriage: 'I apologize' and 'You are right.'
3) A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.
4) If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
5) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.


Winifred said...

So true Patty!

Lady Di Tn said...

i did laugh at the photo memory and the upholster guy. Peace