1.. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up..
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3.. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4.. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5.. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6.. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7.. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8.. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10.. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11.. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch..
12.. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P..S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?