Thursday, April 25, 2013

Dear God:
Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:

1.. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up..

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3.. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4.. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5.. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6.. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7.. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8.. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10.. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11.. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch..

12.. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P..S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?


linda eller said...

I do not know where you get your 'funnies', but they are hilarious, and this one gets a ++! (and I have a cat)

Patty said...

Linda, we have both in the house, sometimes they lay down in the sun together, other times they act like they turn their noses up at each other. LOL

Jackie said...

To have both in the house getting along....priceless!
Love to you, Patty....

ChrisJ said...

With a face like that, I'd take him with or without learning his lessons!