Saturday, April 13, 2013

Will and Guy's Joke of the Day

** Witticisms **

#I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.

#Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.

#I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

#Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

#If all is not lost, where is it?

#It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

#If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

#The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

#I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

#It was all so different before everything changed.

#Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.

#Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.

#A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.

#I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

#It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

#Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.

#The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

#If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

#Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

#If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.

#An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

#A closed mouth gathers no feet.

#It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

#Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

#The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

#Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

2 comments:

linda eller said...

I can relate to most of those...lol

Jackie said...

I'm lovin' every moment of my free trip around the sun.
....And, your blog. I gather smiles while I'm here and try to share them along the way. Thank you, sweet friend!
Love,
J.