#I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
#Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.
#I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
#Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
#If all is not lost, where is it?
#It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
#If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
#The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
#I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
#It was all so different before everything changed.
#Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.
#Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
#A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
#I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
#It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
#Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
#The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
#If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
#Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
#If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
#An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
#A closed mouth gathers no feet.
#It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
#Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
#The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
#Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.