A man died and went to heaven, where he met St. Peter sitting at a desk in the middle of a great hall. On the walls were millions of clocks.
"What are those used for?" he asked.
St. Peter said, "There's one of them for every living person on Earth ticking out the days of their lives."
The newcomer noticed that the hands of some of the clocks were moving faster than others. "Why do they move at different speeds?" he asked.
St. Peter said, "Every time you tell a lie, you lose one hour of your life and your clock speeds up."
The newcomer looked around and then asked, "Do you have one of these for my local politician?"
St. Peter answered, "Sure! It's in the back room. We use it for a ceiling fan."