Little Old Lady

Old is Great

An old Woman was asked,
"At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get : Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"

The wise one answered,
"Definitely Parkinsons - Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."

Repairing Hearts

Hope you enjoy these!
Repairing Hearts:

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

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GETTING OLDER? ME TOO.

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'."

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Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

~~~~~~~~~~~Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

--------------First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.... it's worse when you forget to pull it down.

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(And this final one especially for me,) "Lord,keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!

Happy 4th. of July

To All My Blogger Friends

Hope you all have a wonderful 4th.

You know it's hot when

you see this happening

Now that's HOT

Sage advice

Does anyone know why they call baby diapers Luvs and Hugs
Does anyone know why baby diapers are called Luvs and Huggies, while old people diapers are called Depends?

'Cause if a baby poops in his pants, you are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.

If an old person poops in his pants, will he still be Luved or Hugged?

That "Depends" on if you're in the Will or not.

A lot of truth to this one.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2013 when...
1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't
played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list .

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW you're LAUGHING at yourself!
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!" (Unknown Author)

A Single Little Penny

In God We Trust
A few months ago, my husband and I were invited to spend the weekend at his employer's home. I was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than our house. The first day and evening went well, and I was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live.

My husband's employer was quite generous as a host and took us to the finest restaurants. I knew I would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so I was enjoying myself. As the three of us were about to enter an exclusive restaurant one evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of us. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. I wondered if I was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped and a few cigarette butts.

Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure.

How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up? Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at me. Finally, I could stand it no longer. I causally mentioned that my daughter once had a coin collection and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for us to see. I had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." he said. "Read what it says."

I read the words, "United States of America."

"No, not that; read further."

"One cent?"

"No, keep reading."

"In God we Trust?"

"Yes!"

"And?"

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin, I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray. I stop to see if my trust is in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God, that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I can not change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And God is patient.