The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.
The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
I thought she had PMS, but she was just ovary acting.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.