Thursday, November 13, 2014

Punny Riddles

Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"

What do you get if you cross an oyster with an owl?
Pearls of wisdom.
(Richard Lederer and James Ertner)

What do you call a person who just downloaded 1,000 puns from the Internet?
Well e-quipped.
(Reader's Digest/Kirk Miller)

How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
Rocket.
(Marsha Coleman)

What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a sprinkler?
Hare Spray.
(Richard Lederer and James Ertner)

Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist?
After a month they were fighting tooth and nail.
(Pastor Tim)

What do "little people" use to communicate with each other?
Microphones.
(LAB)

1 comment:

Linda E said...

Those are cute. I have always loved seeing and reading them. Twisting the English language is fun.