Friday, January 30, 2015

Oldies But Goodies

Sooo... what's the problem?

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

(YES, YES, GO AHEAD - READ IT AGAIN)


Water in the carburetor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the river"



This is a frightening statistic !

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.



A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a mobile phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.

"Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Walmart?



He must pay !

Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her Mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.



Today’s Short Reading From the Bible…

From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."

Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!

2 comments:

Linda E said...

LOL, I dont know where you find all your goodies, but I love reading them every morning and start the day with a smile.

Wanda said...

Those were all so cute today...I'm sure glad I'm not a blond....hahaha.

Also the car in the river made me laugh!