Saturday, January 17, 2015

Rules to Ponder

As the new year starts, ponder on these rules! Happy New Year! Hope 2015 will be a great year for all of us.

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.



3 comments:

Linda E said...

Good ones for sure! lol Happy Saturday my friend.

Terra said...

Oh you funny lady!

The 4th Sister said...

Always good for a laugh, Patty! I just love you!