Church Bulletin Bloopers

~ Each year we host a missions conference and produce a magazine describing each of the organizations we support and the ministries available in our own congregation. We have a food program in the church for those in need which we call The Pastor's Pantry. Well, in the magazine, I (church secretary) wrote "THE PANTY FUND - so that no one will have to go without!" Oops. [We got A LOT of this kinda blooper: pantry > panty]

~ A visiting pastor came to our church and before the sermon said, "My wife and I are very happy to be here. Honey, get up so the brothers can see you."

~ We have received word of sudden passing of Rev. Smith this morning during the worship service. Now let's sing "Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow."

~ This Sunday morning following services we will have our monthly feelowship.

~ Sinspiration this Sunday night at church. Ya'll Come!

~ This blooper showed up on the main page of the Internet web site for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada: "In a show of near anonymity, the convention approved full communion with the Anglican Church of Canada."

~ Lift up our Messianic brothers and sisters in Israel who are suffering during our prayer time.

~ Couples Retreat: All couples interested in a fun time, meet John in the Courtyard Kiosk after church.

~ Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth

~ Join us for a skirt presented by the Drama Team.

~ We will have a Super Bowel party this Sunday night. We will also have our regular service

~ Summer Festival: Menu for Wednesday night: 1/2 baked chicken, baked potato, and corn.

~ Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

~ Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.

~ The pastor will light his candle from the altar candles. The ushers will light their candle from the pastor's candle. The ushers will turn and light each worshipper in the first pew.

~ Song Lyrics: What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear.

~ Church sign: "Jesus Saves!" Safeway sign across the street: "Safeway saves you more!"