Thursday, February 21, 2008

A Cowboy's Poem...

Buying A Bra --
I ain't much for shopping,
Nor even goin' into town -
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain't easily found.

But the day came when I had to go
And I left the kids with ma.
But before I left she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"

Without thinkin' I said "Sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
And said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, when I done the things I needed,
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.

I crossed the street to the ladies shop
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk -
I didn't hem or haw -
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store
And they's all gawkin' at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?"
"Well," I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gives me a disgusted look,
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
Well, I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd not seen before
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally make my mind up -
Picked a black and lacy one -
I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
And figured I was done

But then she asked me for the size.
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"A six-and-seven-eighths."

"Six and seven eighths, well sir,
That really isn't right."
"Oh, yes ma'am! Yeah, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I used to measure with,
I figured it was fair,
But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.

6 7/8 or there abouts...


Mississippi Songbird said...

lol. Thanks so much for the laugh. I really needed it today. Bunches of hugs!

Rob Hopcott said...

Nice one, it made me laugh :-)

The 4th Sister said...

My laugh for the day....thx

Renie Burghardt said...

My laugh for the day as well!

What a day we've had. Sleet, freezing rain, rain, more freezing rain, and we may get even more of the stuff tonight! Hope your weather is better, Patty. Have a nice night.


Mountain Mama said...

I found you at Merle's and your name interested me. Well you are only two years older than I am and I don't think I'm very old yet. LOL
I liked your story about the bra. I can just visualize it happening too.

Sister--Three said...

I am thinking of having my breasts removed...just wear a t shirt! Ah, that would be great!

Old Wom Tigley said...

Stunning Patty.. I know just how he felt... ha!

Merle said...

Dear Patty~~ Great fun poem that I am sure my brother would like, so I'll send it to him. Beautiful music and pictures in the video and your crochet dolls and Teddy are lovely.So glad you are able to crochet again. Your hand looked awful, but the results were worth it. Thanks for your comments about my new hair-do and the prize I won on Connie and Rob's blog, now called Pearl's Cameo and Lace.
I have the Pin on a chain around my
neck at present. Take care dear Patty, Love, Merle. Sleep well.